When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (50/52🎸)

“We’ll make it through this!” I lied while projecting an Immortal Ascension stage level of confidence.

Almost everyone stared at me like I was crazy. Only Dread Lotus’ eyes sparkled with trust.

Fuck. I couldn’t disappoint her, now could I?

To give myself time to think, I split my mind into six and ran through various options while paying attention to our situation.

Since the city lord’s pets were in between us and the massive cloud of evil, the souls reached them well before us.

The first spirit pulled a giant crab’s soul from its body, killing it almost instantly. The crustacean-shaped soul struggled before becoming overwhelmed with the black and pink evil energy. It then joined the others, mindlessly killing and converting its comrades.

Ah, shit. If this damned scroll managed to pull my Immortal Ascension Soul out and corrupt it, the whole world would be fucked. No one would be able to stop the demonic sect.

City Lord Bountiful clutched his chest. His eyes grew wide with horror. He gripped Demon Lord Xu’s arm.

“Hey, stop them!”

Xu shoved him away and brushed his sleeve off as if the city lord had been covered in dirt. “I told you that you’d regret it if I had to step in. It is your beasts’ honor to die in order to feed my precious tool.”

“No!” Bountiful used his spiritual energy to wrap around the scroll and struggled to pull it from Xu’s grasp. This, fortunately for us, helped slow the progress of the souls even more.

I had Dread Lotus move the battle formation back until her flying fan hit the invisible wall I’d touched earlier.

What did I have on me that could affect evil spirits?

The brush and ink I used to seal my soul’s appearance? That could obliterate one or two individually, but there were too many of them.

We could use offensive music to slow them down and tear several apart, but I could sense a powerful unending evil energy deep within the black cloud. There was no way a song used for injuring souls could defeat all of them.

No, we needed something to purify all these fuckers almost simultaneously.

Wait. There was something! Dragons Never Die had been amazing at healing Ghosty’s injuries, but I’d felt an extra energy from it. It had been subtle, but it definitely had a purifying quality! Which meant that it had some truly incredible origins. There was likely a reason Gold String’s family set up that particular song as the key to opening the box.

But playing our song the same way we did to heal Ghosty wouldn’t help. I needed to rework it on the fly to improve the purifying aspect.

Now that I thought about it, Tool did something similar with their song ‘Push it.’ Their original version was fast-paced and hardcore, but they took another look at it and redid it for their live album, Salival. They’d slowed it down and arranged it into something beautiful and more primal.

If we did something similar to ‘Dragons Never Die’, I had a feeling it might take on aspects of a powerful soul-purifying chant... in a rock style, of course. And it would likely work even better if Gold String sang it.

It was finally time I stepped back from being the main singer. This would allow me to compose and direct on the fly.

“Gold String Delicate Touch. Get ready to sing ‘Dragons Never Die’ for your ancestor! You’ll just have to follow my directions on how to change it.”

“What? No... that...” he pointed to the slowly approaching cloud.

It had already devoured a quarter of the city lord’s beasts. It hurt the fucker so badly that he stopped struggling with the city lord and fell to his knees to throw up blood. This, of course, made the evil souls speed up.

I squeezed his shoulder. “This time, slow it down, almost like a chant. Focus on purifying souls instead of healing. This is our only shot. If we don’t play the hell out of this song so the heaven’s rain a hundred lightning bolts on top of us, you, me, and the rest of the Irrepressible Beast Blood Sect are going to die. Then the demonic bastards will use this scroll to kill off the rest of the world and use everyone’s life energy to strengthen themselves.”

His eyes grew wide and desperate.

“We can do this. Because music cultivators can be some of the most powerful in the world. Especially when we play together.”

I saw the resolve to do this solidify in the tenseness of his jaw and the way he clutched his bass.

I turned to Azure. “You’re good at adding complexity to music, but I need your help to add depth to our sound as we slow things down. Can you do it?”

She nodded, and her gaze grew focused and determined.

When I turned to Dread Lotus, she grinned at me. “I knew you’d figure something out. I think I got it.” She put one stick behind her ears and began to use her hand on the drums, giving them a different flatter and more primal sound. Her remaining stick gently struck her cymbal in quick succession until it rumbled almost like thunder.

I pointed to her. She was fucking brilliant.

::Formation 6!::

We swiftly formed a Battle of the Bands formation that was used when going all out and not caring about defense. The formation I’d told them to only use in the direst circumstances.

We faced the oncoming storm of souls and played together — guitar, bass, keyboard, and drums. Each sound blended and formed a beautiful, cohesive whole.

When Gold String sang, his voice was incredibly deep and filled with emotion. Because the intention of the song changed, and because we played it differently, it took on a whole new meaning. While it was still about healing, it was less about healing an injured ancient soul and more about healing and purifying souls corrupted by evil. And because our lyrics had always been metaphorical, the transition was easier than if we’d left them specific.

I gave directions on the fly, tweaking everyone’s performance slightly. Making the song more perfect as we went.

The only issue was that it took time to build up the purifying energy, but there were only so many beasts in front of us while the soul swarm continued to creep closer.

Maybe it was just my imagination, and hope, but I could have sworn their colors were lightening as we continued to rock on. Yes! There. They used to be the darkest black with a hint of evil pink light, but they’d turned to a dark gray.

Unfortunately, their change wasn’t happening fast enough.

The nearest evil spirit, the recently changed crab, scuttled its soul closer to me. I’d been around enough crabs that I could see the hatred in its eyes.

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It was mere feet away, but I couldn’t break the formation. If I did, then we’d really lose.

Ten inches.

The temperature dropped significantly.

One inch.

My heart raced.

A half.

I felt the brush of an icy, evil crab claw. I sucked in a breath as it grabbed my soul.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

No! Not today, fucker!

The purifying energy we’d been gathering this whole time released in a slowly spreading ripple of light.

The crab in front of me was blasted away from me, along with its other partners.

The black foggy spirits changed to golden and translucent. They shrank to form beautiful lights and floated upwards before disappearing like thousands of paper lanterns.

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Demon Lord Xu paled. He grabbed a chunk of his hair and pulled. “No! NO! How is this even possible? Stop it!”

He held the scroll up and formed several hand seals to control it. He must have been trying to get the spirits to return, but it was already too late. Muahahaha! As long as we kept playing a little longer, all the souls and the scroll itself would be purified.

Unfortunately, a massive spiral storm cloud had started to form above us. From the look of the thick purple lightning rumbling inside it, the tribulation was about to fry our asses.

Fuck. My earrings needed time to recharge.

::Don’t worry. I got this.:: Dread Lotus said.

::It’s our turn to take care of this, band leader:: Azure Melodic River jumped onto her keyboard while still running her fingers over its keys and grinned.

::Just keep playing!:: Gold String said looking up at the clouds.

Fools. Did they think what I did during the concert before was easy? It wasn’t! They should let me do it. What if things went wrong? What if they messed up?! Our music would stop and the souls wouldn’t continue to be purified.

I gritted my teeth and trusted my band members.

All three flew into the air. It wasn’t just one bolt this time. Instead, three purple lightning bolts hit them simultaneously. They must have had defensive treasures on them because various shields appeared above their heads to block the heavenly attack.

They didn’t even skip a beat.

By the time they landed, the last of the souls were purified. And I felt drained of energy.

I popped a Qi replenishing pill into my mouth.

“All of them...” City Lord Bountiful mumbled and wiped the blood off his chin with shaking hands.

“What?” the demonic cultivator said.

“You killed all of my beasts, and for what? To feed a scroll that’s useless now?”

“It’s their fault!” He gestured toward us. His face had gone red from anger and a vein bulged on his neck. “If they hadn’t defeated your weak pets, I wouldn’t have had to step in! And you. If you had let me control the souls instead of getting in my way, I would have killed them already. Now my scroll is ruined!”

Bountiful grimaced and stood with his wobbly legs. “Death is too good for them. Let’s capture them and turn their bodies into a nourishing pill. You can compensate me for my beasts with that.”

Xu looked at his scroll with sadness, then threw it aside casually. It was like the fucker had already gotten over the loss of his precious evil tool. No demonic cultivator was right in the goddamn head. “This is why I appreciate working with you, my dear city lord. You’re a reasonable man.”

::Band Leader, we’re running out of energy,:: Dread Lotus pointed out.

No kidding. Even I had to take a Qi replenishing pill. Everyone else didn’t have as solid of a foundation as I had and were probably worse off.

::Little Spring. Are you fully recovered?::

The kid had been cycling the healing energy from the pill I gave him since before our song. I also noticed him downing a Qi replenishing pill earlier.

::Yes!::

::Then it’s time for you to step up while we regain our energy.::

::How much time do you need?::

::A minute.::

::That’s so long.::

::Can you do it?::

::I’ve been practicing with Xiao Bai... I think... Yes! I can.::

The kid stepped forward with his determined not-puppy.

I had to trust that his hard work and protagonist halo would protect him for a single minute.

::Alright everyone. Take your pills and get into Formation 6 again. It’s time to melt some faces.::

Gold String, who had just thrown a Qi recovery pill into his mouth, choked. ::My hands feel like they’re burning but you want me to play that!?::

::Suck it up!:: Actually, mine ached too just thinking about it. I’d need a goddamn spiritual manicure if I survived this shit.

He grimaced and took out a generic healing dan as well.

::Why didn’t we perform this one earlier?:: Azure asked while swallowing her own recovery pill.

::Because we can only attack two people with it, at most,:: Dread Lotus said and pulled out a Golden Qi Dan that would have cost two high-tier spirit stones. It paid to have a poison master as an uncle. ::It’s not worth it for a larger group, especially when they have fresh shields.::

::Alright, everyone. That’s enough chatter and recovery. Let’s get ready to rock!::

::Yes, band leader!::

Back in the day, I’d been trying to impress my various students with my rendition of Through the Fire and the Flames by DragonForce. Fairy Winter Medley gained inspiration from that. She wanted a song that embodied the phrase, ‘gotta go fast,’ but one that also told a story.

She settled on the idea of an inferno that burned hot and fast, melting all enemies before it. She thought it would end up conjuring fires on the battlefield. Instead, it melted faces and other body parts.

This was still very impressive and effective. Cultivators were almost all vain assholes, so injuring their looks was a good way to fuck them up.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

She named the song ‘Flames that Melt Everything’, but it earned the nickname The Song that Melts Faces.

Just as Little Spring began to attack Xu and Bountiful, we prepared to play the fastest rock song in this Xianxia universe.

Gold String looked at me and grinned before starting us off.

I changed my grip on the guitar and sped through the opening at lightning speed.

Dread Lotus struck a few snare drums before coming in with an insane rhythmic pattern that made the song feel even faster than it was. Her hands moved in a blur that I could barely see with my divine sense.

The ground surrounding us shook and broke up with our powerful musical energy.

That was when Azure pressed her thin fingers to the keys, adding a melody that brought everything together. This was one of the songs that absolutely needed her keyboard to make our song sound like actual music and not badass noise.

Xiao Bai, the puppy we all thought was weak and needed protection, darted over to Bountiful. He bit his leg and yanked.

The man caught himself before he fell forward. He pulled the puppy off and threw him far away.

The not-dog didn’t even flinch as he skidded across the ground. Next, he ran behind the fucker to attack him again, biting his ass and causing the city lord to yelp.

It was like watching a small dog fight a mundane human. But the fact was, this guy was a powerful Golden Core expert. If Xiao Bai was as normal as he appeared, he would have died already.

I knew it! It was about time that not-dog started pulling his own weight! Though, to be fair, he may have helped significantly when we took out the beasts earlier.

Little Spring sent out multiple Hundred Cuts at Xu who merely brushed them aside with his whip.

The kid wasn’t even bothering to hide his swordsmanship behind the fake drunk technique anymore. Then again, with Xu’s skill, Little Spring couldn’t afford to waste any energy on superfluous movements. The man was incredibly dangerous, but he was being cautious.

Either he was trying to capture the kid alive to turn him into a human pill or he was running out of life-saving treasures.

::Get out of there now!::

Little Spring Impossible Leaped out of the way just as our first round of illusory flames flew toward Xu and Bountiful. It looked like a massive white hot solar flare and caused the ground to sizzle as it swiftly passed.

Of course, I didn’t count on this attack finishing them off, so I released a Ten Thousand Cuts and hid it with the illusion. Since I wasn’t sure that would work either, I also flicked my wrist and threw out a Breath-Stealing poison pill, one of the new concoctions Noxious had taught me.

Xu avoided the flames, just in time for my sword Qi to slice into his shoulder and neck. It couldn’t kill him, but that was why I hadn’t stopped there.

The trick pill landed between the two assholes and invisibly sent out powder that they’d breathe in unknowingly as our fight continued. The poison would slowly deprive them of breath. This went beyond mere oxygen, though it certainly prevented that from entering their bloodstream. It stole their ability to take in more spiritual energy. If enough time passed, and they were still alive, it would decrease their cultivation level.

It was a truly nasty toxin. If they were distracted, they wouldn’t even know what killed them.

Of course, I didn’t believe that would kill the two of them before they murdered us, so I doubled down on our face-melting song. Another round of illusory flames flew toward them as fast as hurricane winds.

::Do it now!:: I said to the kid.

Little Spring darted in from the side. He looked like he was carving a path with his sword as he made 12 fluid movements. He thrust his blade forward and blasted them both with a storm of golden blossoms. Because our attacks occurred at the same time, the petals caught fire and burned, enhancing the face-melting properties.

Two nearly silent screams came from the torrent of fiery gold flowers.

My vision shook as an impossibly strong soul-curse burst out from the blast. It had the energy of an infuriated Immortal Bone Creation expert. It was likely from the asshole allowing that demonic fucker to call himself Demon Lord Xu — his master. If it landed on anyone here aside from me, it would kill them instantly.

Gritting my teeth, and spitting out several mouthfuls of blood, I broke the seal on my soul’s image and used my divine sense to grab the demonic curse. I put my full Immortal Ascension level weight into my attack and crushed it. It screamed.

Of course, my body couldn’t handle it. Pain shot through my chest. Sourness invaded my throat. I fell on my hands and knees and I coughed up seven mouthfuls of blood.

Little Spring’s eyes grew wide. ::Sister Lin!::

I grinned because I knew that Xu’s master was definitely throwing up even more blood than me from the backlash of his curse failing.

When the petals finally cleared, Demon Lord Xu was lying on the ground, face cut up and melted. He was definitely dead. That had probably set off the earlier curse. Damned demonic sect!

Sadly, City Lord Bountiful was still alive and holding a defensive talisman that crumbled to dust between his fingers. It had been enough to help him survive. Unfortunately for him, all his hair had fallen out and a few parts of his face had melted before he’d used it. His lips turned blue, evidence of my Breath-Stealing poison working overtime.

Frankly, this was not a good look on him. Almost Deadpoolesque, but with none of the fourth-wall-breaking humor.

Three Drops suddenly ran out of the mansion. “I did it! The space lock tool is off! We can go!”

The City Lord spat out some more blood along with his front tooth. Then he laughed.

Ew. I really didn’t want to see that. I felt like shit enough as it was.

“Oh. Fairy Lin. You’ve made your biggest mistake yet.” He pulled out the box Xu had given him. When he opened it, I noticed the thing was full of teleporting tokens. He crushed one and vanished.

This motherfucker!

Why did goddamn spy movie villains always survive in the end?

Well, technically this was a Xianxia, but still! I was sure this guy would cause me trouble again if I didn’t do something.