Reincarnated as the Villainess’s Unlucky Bodyguard

[Mission accomplished. Ten out of ten. You're a menace.]

I smirked as Seraphis fumed, her violet eyes blazing brighter than the flames I'd just extinguished. The smell of burnt parchment, hair, and centuries-old tapestry was thick in the air. Her pristine office now resembled a battleground a chaotic masterpiece of ash, scorch marks, and a very confused pineapple perched smugly on my shoulder.

"Do you think that was overkill?" I whispered under my breath.

[Overkill? No. Artful destruction? Absolutely. She's one sharp object away from declaring war on you.]

"Silverthorn," Seraphis growled through gritted teeth, her hands gripping the edge of her desk like she was imagining snapping my spine in two. "You have five seconds to explain yourself before I ensure you never step foot in this Academy again."

Before I could answer or more accurately, lie Ananara chimed in.

"Five seconds? My dear principal, is that truly enough time to comprehend the genius of her actions? Personally, I find her chaos inspiring."

"Shut up, Ananara," I muttered, swatting at him.

"How dare you speak to me that way," he snapped. "I am the only intelligent being in this room."

Seraphis blinked at him, then at me, as if trying to decide whether to explode or just banish us both to the nether realms. "You brought that into my office?" she hissed.

"He's my familiar," I said with a shrug. "It's a package deal. Take me, take the pineapple."

[Technically, it's more of a curse deal,] the system offered helpfully.

"I can't decide which one of you is worse," Seraphis said, her voice dangerously low.

"Oh, it's me," Ananara said smugly. "She's just an apprentice. I'm an experience."

"Can I leave now?" I asked, rising to my feet. "I feel like we've reached a natural conclusion here. You hate me. I'm unteachable. Problem solved."

Seraphis slammed her hands on the desk. "Sit down!"

I flopped back into the chair, crossing my arms. "Fine. But I should warn you, I've got a tight schedule. Lunchtime's ticking away."

Her eye twitched. "Do you think this is a joke, Liria? Do you have any idea what kind of opportunity you're throwing away by defying me?"

"Do you have any idea what kind of opportunity you're throwing away by not investing in flame-resistant decor?" I shot back.

Seraphis opened her mouth, probably to yell at me, but then closed it again. Her shoulders sagged as if the weight of my insolence had finally broken her. "Get. Out," she said, her voice as cold as the stone walls.

"Gladly," I said, standing and giving her a mock bow. "Always a pleasure, Principal."

As I turned to leave, Ananara added, "You might want to check your hair again. I think there's still some smoke curling."

That was it. Seraphis threw a paperweight at me. I ducked, but it sailed dangerously close to my head before shattering against the wall. I didn't wait for her to grab a second missile. I bolted out the door, laughing as Ananara cackled on my shoulder.

The hallways of the Academy were mercifully empty, save for the distant echo of my boots against the marble floors. I slowed my pace, the adrenaline from my office pyrotechnics wearing off.

"Do you ever stop antagonizing people?" I asked Ananara.

"I could ask you the same," he replied, sounding almost proud. "You have a gift, Liria. Chaos flows through your veins like… like sap through a noble tree."

"Thanks, I guess?" I rolled my eyes. "Let's just get back to the cafeteria before Enara eats all the good stuff."

When we reentered the VIP section, Enara was still lounging at our table, looking irritatingly smug. "How'd it go?" she asked, popping a grape into her mouth.

"Oh, you know," I said, sliding into my chair. "Lots of yelling, some light property damage. Standard fare."

"You really don't want to be her apprentice, do you?"

"Not unless she learns to take a joke," I said, grabbing a piece of pheasant from the plate in front of me.

Enara smirked. "You've got guts, I'll give you that."

"And questionable taste in companions," Ananara added, gesturing at himself.

"You're one to talk," I snapped.

As we bickered, the doors to the cafeteria swung open again, and in walked Kaelith, the magic instructor. His indigo skin and shadowy tendrils of hair were unmistakable, as was the aura of quiet menace he carried. His molten gold eyes scanned the room until they landed on me.

"What now?" I groaned, slumping in my seat.

Kaelith approached our table, his movements as fluid as water, yet as deliberate as a predator. "Silverthorn," he said, his deep voice resonating like thunder. "The principal has informed me of your… antics."

"Antics?" I said innocently. "I prefer to call it performance art."

Kaelith's lips twitched, but he didn't smile. "You've been summoned to my class for a makeup session. Immediately."

"I don't need a makeup session," I protested. "I was just in class this morning!"

"Consider it extra credit," he said, his tone making it clear there was no room for argument.

Enara snickered as I stood, muttering curses under my breath. "Good luck," she said, waving me off like the queen she thought she was.

Kaelith's classroom was as intimidating as the man himself. The walls were lined with glowing glyphs that pulsed with latent magic, and the air hummed with power. A massive basin of water sat in the center of the room, reflecting the faint blue glow of the glyphs.

"Sit," Kaelith commanded, gesturing to the basin.

I obeyed, plopping down on the cold stone floor. Ananara settled next to me, grumbling about the lack of respect for his "fruitly dignity."

"I swear, Liria," he muttered, his leaves quivering with indignation. "If this is the kind of treatment I have to endure as your familiar, I may file an official complaint with the Familiar Union."

"There's no such thing," I snapped, adjusting my position to keep the cold from seeping through my clothes. "And if there were, you'd still be stuck with me."Nôv(el)B\\jnn

"Enough," Kaelith said, his golden eyes narrowing. "Both of you. Silence."