I Was Hoping She Would Notice but again Now When She Did... Im Tired

Chapter 87: did you really just?



Lucian sat on the far corner of the back bench, his head bent low as he pretended to scroll aimlessly through his phone, using it as a shield from the world. His jaw clenched and his fingers tightened around the phone, the faint tremor in his hands betraying his otherwise stoic facade. He had carefully chosen this corner, away from anyone who might disturb his fragile calm. But his heart sank when he heard a familiar voice.

"Lucy... mind if we sit here?" Avey's voice was soft, barely more than a whisper, as if she feared even approaching him.

Without lifting his gaze, Lucian replied coldly, "No. I'd rather you didn't." His words were firm, but his tone cracked just slightly enough that only he noticed. He was trying, desperately, to protect himself from falling back into the same emotional trap.

Ignoring his answer, Avey sat down beside him. "Thank you," she murmured, more to herself than to him, and gently tugged Cassandra down beside her, forcing the trio into a quiet, uncomfortable closeness.

Lucian's eyes darted sideways, catching a glimpse of Avey as she settled in. He could feel her gaze burning into him, a mixture of hope and hurt that she wasn't bothering to conceal. He swallowed, his fingers scrolling his phone faster, though he couldn't focus on a single word.

Avey reached out, her voice shaky but full of resolve. "Lucy… why are you acting like this? Do you hate me now?"

He exhaled sharply, finally breaking the silence but still refusing to meet her gaze. "I just don't want to sit here with you," he said bluntly, hoping the words would hit her like they had once hit him, so that maybe she'd understand.

Avey's shoulders sagged, but she pressed on, her voice wavering. "You always used to tell me… that you loved me. And, yes, I was wrong back then. I was so blind, I couldn't see it. But I'm different now." Her voice broke, and she took a deep breath. "Yesterday, I told you I was ready to accept it, and you... you rejected me. Today, you won't even look at me. Lucy, please... I know I hurt you, but don't punish me like this. We both know you loved me deeply once, so why won't you give me a chance now?"

Lucian stayed silent, staring at his screen, his face void of expression but his mind flooded with memories he'd tried so hard to bury. He could hear Avey's pain, but he couldn't let himself feel for her not now, not after everything.

"Don't you still want what you used to? For us to be together?" Her hand trembled as she placed it close to his, waiting, hoping he'd reach out just once more. "Yesterday… I thought you still loved me. The way you looked at me it was the same as before. Please, Lucy, say something. Tell me you haven't changed."

Lucian inhaled deeply, finally speaking in a low, almost detached tone. "Isn't it my right to say no? To want something different, just as you did back then and is it my obligations or task to love you?" He said it with a practiced calm, but inside, his chest burned with a familiar ache.

Avey froze, her eyes widening in stunned silence. Those were the same words she'd used years ago, each time she had turned him down, convinced that he would just keep coming back for more. She had never imagined they'd come back to haunt her, spoken by his voice with the same distant coldness she'd once used.

"L-Lucy, please," she stammered, reaching out instinctively. "I... I didn't mean it that way back then. I was… I was so foolish. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. Please don't let this end like this."

Lucian sighed, rubbing his temples as if the conversation was physically exhausting him. "This, right here, is why I didn't want to sit near you, Avey. This isn't helping either of us." He turned his body away from her.

"Just give me one chance, Lucy... just one chance," avey voice cracked, her words barely escaping in the heavy silence that hung between them. hers eyes, filled with desperation.

Avey watched him in silence for a moment, her heart aching at the sight of his pain. Her brow furrowed with concern as she slid closer, her fingers trembling slightly. "Lucian..." she whispered, her voice soft but full of urgency.

Lucian's sigh was long and painful, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He stayed still, his eyes fixed downward, refusing to meet her gaze. His lips were pressed tightly together, and Avey could see the muscles in his jaw twitching as if he was struggling to keep everything inside.

"Lucy... look at me," Avey pleaded, her voice breaking as she reached up to gently touch his face. Her fingertips brushed against his skin, and she turned his head slowly, guiding his face towards her. Their faces were close now, too close, but neither of them moved away. The air between them felt thick with tension. They could feel each other's breath, but it wasn't a tender moment it was raw, filled with pain and unanswered questions.

When their eyes finally met, the intensity in Lucian's gaze struck her like a punch to the gut. His eyes, usually so strong and composed, were void of emotion yet Avey could see it, the sadness buried deep within them. It was as if the weight of all his unspoken words and repressed feelings had shattered the calm façade he wore.

Avey felt her throat tighten, and her voice trembled as she spoke. "You... you know, Lucian, no matter how good you are at hiding it..." She took a shaky breath, her eyes searching his face desperately. "No one can hide the truth from their eyes. And your eyes... they're screaming, Lucian. They're telling me you're hurt. You're feeling something, but you're too afraid to show it."

Her hands, still lightly resting on his face, began to tremble more as she continued, her voice becoming softer, filled with confusion and pain. "Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away? Please, tell me... let me help you." Her voice cracked, and the tears that had been welling up in her eyes finally started to fall. She wiped them away quickly, but they just kept coming, a steady stream she couldn't control.

Lucian's gaze softened just for a moment, but then his jaw tightened again, and he pulled away slightly, stepping back as if her touch was too much to bear. "Enough, Avey," he said, his voice cold and firm, a sharp contrast to the vulnerability that had been there just seconds before. His expression had become unreadable again, his eyes distant. "Enough."

Avey's heart clenched painfully at the finality in his tone. Her hand, still hovering in the air where his face had been moments ago, trembled even more violently now. She took a step toward him, her voice barely above a whisper. "Are you really giving up, Lucian?" Her voice was raw with emotion, almost pleading.

Lucian sit still for a long moment, his eyes not meeting hers. The silence between them was suffocating, and Avey could feel the weight of it pressing down on her chest. When he finally spoke, his words were laced with a quiet bitterness. "I gave up, Avey," he said, his voice steady but full of a sadness that seemed to emanate from his very soul. "And I mean it."

Avey felt a sting in her heart at his words, and her breath hitched in her throat. She shook her head slowly, her lips trembling as she spoke in disbelief. "But... why? Why did you confess so many times? Why did you try so hard to win me over if you were just going to give up like this?" Her voice cracked with emotion, and her eyes searched his desperately for some sign that he hadn't truly let go. "What was the point of everything? All the effort, all the confessions... was it all meaningless?"

lucian couldn't beleive did avey just really say that his heart feeling little tighter

Lucian's face was impassive, but his eyes narrowed slightly, the faintest hint of hurt beneath the calm surface. "Did you really just say that?" he murmured, his voice like ice, cutting through the tension. "Did you just ask me what the point was?"

Avey hesitated, blinking back tears. "I…I just don't understand, Lucy. You loved me so much. You fought for me all those years, and now that I'm finally ready, you're…you're walking away? It doesn't make sense, it…it feels pointless."

Lucian's expression hardened, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he held back the torrent of emotions that threatened to escape. "So, you think all those years of confessions, of waiting, meant nothing?" His words were a whisper, barely audible, but there was a deep, controlled anger simmering beneath them.

Avey's tears spilled over. She reached out to him again, her hand trembling. "Lucy…you finally have me. Why won't you just"

Lucian backed a little on his seat, his face clouded with a mixture of disbelief and sadness. He looked at her, and for the first time, she felt the weight of all the years he'd spent waiting, the patience he'd shown, the countless times he'd swallowed his pride and risked his heart for her only to be turned away.


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